Waiting for Him
by Farla
Summary: A pokemon's thoughts about its trainer while it waits for him. Not charmander.


Where is he

I don't own pokemon. I also don't know why you care.

Waiting for him

Where is he? He told me to wait here, he said he would come back soon.

I had to stay, just for a while, to protect my friends, my children.

It wasn't going to be long, just until he completed an errand for a friend. Only a few days apart…

Then, he found out there was a pokemon league there. He wanted to fight…after all, he couldn't come all the way back just for me…so I had to wait. Still, he would come back when he was done…

Finally, I learned he was coming back. I was so happy…but he didn't take me with him. He came and went, without a word to me. I didn't even learn about it until he was gone… He didn't even say hello or goodbye to me…

So now I'm waiting, waiting for him…He must have forgot, he can get so excited about something that he forgets everything else…or else he doesn't want me.

Should I try to follow him? When he sees me he'll remember, be so happy to see me…but what if I can't find him, but he returns to here for me, and thinks I don't like him? No, I can't do that…

His other pokemon never understood why I was so loyal to him…to be honest, I don't know myself. Charmander understood, though. He told me that when he was waiting for his first trainer, he thinks that, looking back, he knew his trainer wasn't coming back…he just didn't, couldn't let himself face it. Is that what I'm doing?

He didn't even use me to battle, just to blow away team rocket's smoke or pierce their balloon, and when something came up and he could let his pokemon out, he rarely released me, only the others. I didn't even want to be caught, so why aren't I hiding from him, rejoicing in my freedom? He wasn't even a good trainer to me- in my first gym battle, he sent me against a geodude. I lost, what did he expect against a rock pokemon? I didn't battle much after that…

When he had to get to a battle at the pokemon league, he had me tow him in team rocket's balloon. We only just made it. All the other pokemon felt I should be mad, that he had made me work until I collapsed. I was just mad at myself, because I only just got there in time, and because he ended up losing. Maybe if I could have fought, he would have had another pokemon to use, so that Charizard wouldn't have cost him the match, but he probably would have used it anyway…

I should have seen this coming…the day he left me I had failed to save pikachu, his favorite pokemon. I knew I should have felt jealous of that pikachu, his best pokemon, the only one of us allowed to stay out of a pokeball. But I always tried my hardest to save it. He wanted pikachu. And I would always do anything for him. Team rocket had tried a poison sting attack. I was too badly poisoned to go get pikachu. Charizard had to save pikachu. And if Charizard hadn't been such a good friend to pikachu, he wouldn't have caught pikachu. Charizard wouldn't have attacked team rocket at all, but they had made the fire dragon mad. He only gave me one little thing to do, and that time I couldn't do it. I evolved that day, and fought a fearow. I won. Maybe that's why I didn't think he would abandon me, an evolved pokemon, and because I beat the fearow. I should have known…

I wonder if it would be better if he just told me he didn't want me. At least then I would know…or is it better to wonder, then to know with certainty that he doesn't want a weakling like me?

Pikachu was special. He never said it, but we all knew it. Pikachu was the one he sent out even when it had a type disadvantage, pikachu was the pokemon used when he could only use one more in a battle, pikachu was the one so special that team rocket wanted to steal it. Still, they sometimes stole all his pokemon, and sometimes just one different one, but never me…I was the worthless one, the common one, the weak one. While all the others were battling, I was sitting in my pokeball. While the others were gaining levels, learning new attacks and evolving, I sat there, doing nothing.

Why? I never wanted anything but to do what you wanted…I would have begged to follow you into the depths of hell, I would have done anything for you…

I was the most loyal of all of us. Not even pikachu is this devoted, and look at all it's done for you. You treated pikachu the best, but not even it cared this much, even after all you've done for it, and after all you've done to me, I still have this blind devotion, never failing.

I evolved for you. It was so hard, not a natural, easy thing like when I evolved to pidgeotto. I was at such a low level… I forced myself to evolve, all for you…I wanted to show you I could beat the fearow, that I wasn't a weakling.

What would it have taken to have you keep me?

It isn't my fault I'm so weak…you almost never battled with me, what did you expect?

I would have done anything for you.What more did you want? Why did you abandon me?

Why, Ash, why?

Wow, that was cheerful. No, I don't like Ash all that much, but that is not why he is portrayed like this. He said he would come back to get it after he got the G/S ball for Prof. Oak. Then he went to compete in the Orange League. Then he came back and (to my knowledge) went on to Johto without Pidgeot. I saw the episode and I did not see him go out into the woods for Pidgeot. And if you think about it, he rarely used it in battle. Not a great trainer in my personal opinion. It switches from him to you because…well I don't really know. That's just how I wrote it, and it kind of mirrors the way I write when I'm trying to put down my own thoughts.


End file.
